Elf banter
As I’m not an actor, it’s only natural that I have the occasional blunder. The script, whilst amusing in its simplicity, does provide some points on which to trip up. Most often, I end up with a terrible case of verbal diarrhoea, blurting out “blururulurur” repeatedly, until on of my fellow elves steps in and relieves me of my line, inserting an appropriate excuse such as, “she’s so excited, she can’t even speak!” On Monday, I was thrown by an impromptu hug from a small child, and messed up my ‘you’ve past your elf training’ line, instead congratulating the group for passing their ‘elf and safety training!’ A particularly horrific moment, was when I stumbled on the line, “you have all shown us what caring and unselfish children you are” (by helping the elves to make toys for other children). I accidentally said with a beaming smile, “you have all show us what uncaring and selfish children you are,” a misdemeanour met with a frostier reception than the fake icicles hanging from the toy factory windows.
On the other hand, the children themselves say some hilarious things. Part of the spiel is to ask children if they can think of a way in which the elves can cut down trees to make wooden toys without hurting the lovely world, to which one small boy responded, “put a plaster on them.” Bless! Monday’s group was slightly more sinister. When asked what they thought we did with grown-ups who didn’t sing along to ‘busy elves,’ one child responded, “you keep them here forever,” and when that turned out to be incorrect, another child tried out “you turn them into toys!”
Elfing is most certainly the best job I have had, possibly ever! It was heartbreaking having to tell ‘Elf Control’ the news of my upcoming surgery, which means I have only a week left of Lapland fun. I will certainly be making the most of the time I have left!
